Now that you have put work into identifying the issue at hand and have taken adequate time to reflect on it, it’s time to do the third R. “Research.” I think we all know what the word research means but Launchpad Dads (LpD) has its own twist to it.
Keep in mind we are not looking for strictly empirical data here (although it can be helpful). We are looking for self-report data from ourselves and the ones we care about the most.
Research is seeking out answers to your questions that are outside of yourself. So often we get stuck on a problem even after we have reflected on it. It’s time to do what may feel a little uncomfortable but is entirely necessary. We need to talk to those involved in our life. There is some risk to this and that is why you must carefully word your problems to them.
Let's say you are struggling with being a bad dad and you took the time to identify this and put effort into getting to the deeper meaning behind this problem. Research wants you to bring this up to your wife but in a different way. You should word your insecurity or problem like this: “I’m feeling down and feeling like a bad father. What are some things the kids need from me?” See how they respond.
Also, research may find you going to your local library for a book on fatherhood. Or not, because libraries don’t exist anymore so you might use a computer instead. You can ask google if you are a bad dad but it will be more worth your time to ask “how can I improve as a dad?” The internet is full of ideas.
You get extra credit if you read an entire book on the topic. The Kindle app is actually very intuitive now and is available on smartphones and PCs. I used to hate the Kindle app but they did an excellent job polishing it over the years.
Outcomes of Research
The end result of researching is that you will be knowledgeable and have ideas of things you want to do or try out to relieve the identified problem at hand.
The biggest takeaway is that there are many ways to research problems. You should incorporate a combination of these methods into your process which involves talking and reading helpful sources.
If your identified problem as a dad is pretty severe please consult me. I’m happy to email or take a phone call.
The next step is Rock-It!